Film: Project X

“Hey, we want some puss-ay” sets the tone as the opening line of Nima Nourizadeh’s feature film debut, Project X. The disturbingly crass comedy rolls all your teen comedy nightmares into one pitifully short (but still dragged out) mess of POV filming.

The ‘plot’ (loose term) focuses on birthday boy Thomas (Thomas Mann) and his two friends, Costa (Oliver Cooper) and JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown). They ever so kindly offer to throw him a party when his parents go away for the weekend, and document the shenanigans by roping-in goth, Dax Flame to film. Cue a completely uninhibited spectacle of everything that could possibly go wrong, going wrong. 2000 people turn up, the dog gets high, a dwarf is shut in the oven and the Mercedes ends up in the swimming pool. That is just the start of it.

There is a flaccid attempt at a romantic storyline which is patronising and fake. Thomas and old family friend Kirby kiss at the party, but as the guy’s plan is nothing more than to “get high, f*** bitches,” he naturally ends up doing sexy body shots of tequila and heading upstairs with another lucky female – the ‘hottest girl in school.’ All is forgiven however after a less than groveling apology. What a lovely message to send out to all the ladies out there. Similarly, Thomas’ father seems unbelievably impressed that his nerdy son could have pulled off such a magnificent feat of stupidity. So what, his college fund is gone, it was apparently totally worth it for that one night of debauchery.

Like an hour and a half long hip hop video, Project X is one long montage of hot girls gyrating on everyone, getting naked in the swimming pool and making out with each other. The director’s view of high school parties suggests he was the one guy who was never invited and spent endless nights fantasising – this film is the result.

Lacking plot, humour and any semblance of decent acting or morals, Project X takes all the worst parts of teen comedies such as Superbad, American Pie and Jackass and throws them together in a horribly mangled mess of sex, drugs and alcohol. The whole debauched scene replicates the carnage of a Michael Bay film gone suburban.

The three main characters are vile and obnoxious with no redeeming features. All other characters are vacuous, faceless sex objects drafted in for no other reason than to be gawked at. The minute-long scene of close-ups of ‘sexy’ drug taking was highly unnecessary and all possible stereotypes of people are continually exploited.

To the film’s credit, there are the occasional laugh out loud moments, although they are certainly guilty ones. If you are easily offended, even these moments will be received with a steely stare and a raised brow.

Offensive, misogynistic, loathsome, nihilistic and downright pathetic, Project X will unfortunately appeal to the ‘lad’ generation (most of which will be younger than the film’s 18 rating), but for the majority of sane people, they will just be worried about how the damage will be paid for and how to get the paint off the dog.